It seems that alcohol is my conduit to better blogging; maybe just blogging in general anymore.  I don’t seem to have anything to say otherwise.  Please be prepared for the worst and best of my meandering through intellect and reason.

 Why don’t I have a girlfriend?  If I knew the answer to this, I think I might be due the Pulzter Prize.  Thats right, I would have solved a writting and reason piece of the cosmos that made the world a better place.  I don’t know.  This in it’s self might be the answer.

Words of reason and lessons of life have let me know that I should pursue all and take what meets me the most.  As such I have tried this method and I might say, I have had the worst success in this lately.  The age of my generation seems to not want what meets them the most, so how are they in themselves going to cross the intersteallar boundries to meet what seems to meet them well?  Can’t answer that.  Wish I could.  So it seems that life tells you to go after everthing or go after nothing.  These are polar opposites and in the least, nothing in the same.

 We are going to interrupt this train of thought to mention that there is a very specific difference between friends and partners.  Friends don’t care.  Friends just give.  They often know what is in your better judgement even when you don’t and are often the first to suggest it.  These people are the ones that you should trust in.

That is not to say that you can’t trust in your partner, because, if it worked out as effectively as it could, your friend became your partner.  Many can’t handle this, and so, I move back to how do you find a partner?

Wow.  If I knew the answer to this I think I would make the world spin and life continue happening, I would be the saving grace to marriage in general and my spot as a Wedding DJ would be secured for life.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  Yeah, DJing in general is pretty cool, but being the matchmaker and master of ceremonies would be the bomb.  Since I like solving puzzels and fixing problems this could be the greatest crecendo known to mankind save making cold fusion happen.

How do you match yourself, that person that you are with someone else that you don’t know yet.  Maybe even someone else that is searching as well and you seem to have hard time alinging yourself with?  Ah, this is impossible.  (ok audience, at this point I have turely started talking to myself)  Is it, is it really impossible.  Isn’t that how people of old made it happen?  We had pre-selected marriages.  These were generally between families that knew each other and said their children should be married.  Right.  That totally still happens (it still does, but in other countries… so I am left to myself and whomever else thinks I am worthwhile).

 Hmm.  I make a good point.  Whomever thinks I am worthwhile.  Since I do my best to be as carring, givening, capable, and even-till as possible, this doesn’t allow for the greatest selection of girls to think I am worthwhile.  They all (sorry I am generalizing here, but, I’m drunk, you are going to have to deal with it) want someone who actually doesn’t care for them up front, but somewhere between 2 and last.

Is this my selflessness kicking me in the ass?  Yes, it is.

God damn does that hurt the inner morals.

How do I care for my partner if I don’t put her first?  (since you care for yourself you put your partner first because you are already there?)  Ah, that almost works, but honestly, you have to care for yourself first or your partner will intrensicly know that you don’t have a backbone and will go for someone that treats them like shit cause obviously they care for someone else more first.

 Ah, why didn’t I see this earlier?  Treat your partner like shit and she will know you care for you first and THEN her and she will feel comfortable.

 FUCK THAT.

 I want to be my god damn forsaken self when I date a lady and take care of her and thereby take care of myself.  Not like I won’t feed myself and then her, I gotta eat damnit, but fuck.  What if I do listen to her and her issues.  This does NOT make me her bff, but her partner that knows the masculine side of how the cards are played.

Log of late, you have done okay.  You are at least not living with your Dad and are working to take care of yourself.  This is a complicated task and you are working as you best can to make ends meet.

 Thank you self,
I appreciate your efforts!